Safe People

Let me first start off by telling you who "Safe People" are.  Safe people are people that you feel very safe to share almost everything with.  No they don't always have to agree with you.  But you trust them enough that you can tell them what you feel comfortable sharing and they will love you and be there for you no matter what.

I have a small handful of people that are on my "Safe People" list.  It's not that I don't trust everyone, but I believe in my relationship, that not everyone needs to know all my secrets.  But the people who I do consider safe, I believe I should be able to share with them what ever I feel.

I think it is totally healthy to find some one to process and share your thought and feelings to.  Now obviously if your asked to keep a secret you should.  So don't go telling all of your secrets you promised to keep about others.  But going to them to vent, process, talk, is a totally normal and healthy thing to do.

I am a girl.  Girls like to talk.  We aren't like guys who are satisfied with seeing an old friend and saying "Hey, What's up?  Everyone in your family good?  Cool glad everything is okay."  Girls like to share details.  If things are good we tell it how it is.  Same for the bad.  If things are bad you better believe we share to those we feel are safe to us.  (My personal opinion stop doing bad things that your friend, family member or spouse are going to get upset over.  If you don't it's not okay to expect them to bottle it all up and not be able to talk about it.)

I have a few safe people in my life that I can share all me thoughts and feelings with.  I don't feel judged and appreciate their advice and love.  Safe people are important to have.  Not only for yourself but for your spouse.  And I think it is very important to have safe people.  If you have problems in one of your relationships whether it is with a friend, parent or spouse I think it is healthy to share your thoughts and feelings to someone who is safe.  You shouldn't be criticized for going to a safe person and processing your thoughts and feelings.  I don't think it is healthy to bottle everything up to yourself.  And I don't think it is healthy to only share it with your spouse.  It will turn into a burden to only talk and share everything with your spouse.  I think if you have this problem it is important to seek help from family or friends who you feel safe to talk to.  Or even professional help can be a big help.

I have a few people in my life who struggle with finding safe people and they expect me to not be able to process and share my thoughts or feelings.  And right now i'm not okay with it.  I'm not okay with bottling it all up and keeping everything to myself.  I think it is very selfish of them to put this burden on me and to think that I just have to deal with it on my own.  Like I always say....I am going to do what I think is best for me and my family.