I'm taking a break

I recently found out my husband betrayals have been going on for at least 2 years. I am so hurt and lost right now. With this information I have decided I'm in over my head. With work, being a mom, a spouse in a broken marriage, I've decided I need a break from my blog. I need time to think, process and heal. I still love to blog..... But with everything going on I don't find time for it. Or I'm also finding it is taking time away from my boys. I'm going to keep a journal of my thought and feelings to write down. (Which i'm sure will bring excellent posts in the future.) But as for now I'm putting my blog on hold.

As for those who read this blog, thank you for your support. Thank you for following and helping me feel like I have a voice again. Most of all thank you for helping me feel heard and important again.

When I feel comfortable in my recovery and I'm comfortable with giving the time towards my blog I will let you know when I will be posting on here again. 

Today

Today I sat down during my break and started devouring my delicious salad from a cafe down the street from me. Half way through eating it, my favorite song popped on the radio. I am in love with the song "fight song" by Rachel Platten. Immediately I stopped eating and listening to the lyrics. I felt overwhelmed during that moment to pray. My  last year has been from Hell. I bowed my head and started giving thanks for my food. But then I started pouring out more thanks. Thanks for my amazing vacation I just had, for my amazingly supportive family, for my beautiful boys, for my AMAZING job and so much more.

But then I paused...

I thanked the lord for my husband. I thanked the lord for this hard time. I told him I didn't like it and that it has made me soooo sad. But I'm grateful for the knowledge I have learned and will be learning.

I find it crazy that I had to pray right then and there to thank the lord for my life. But I don't regret it! I especially think I'm crazy for being grateful for my challenges I have been going through. But when I dig deep down I know it has caused me a tremendous amount of pain. But I have also gained a lot from my experiences. And I would rather be where I am now then where I was when I was trusting and naive.

Today is a good day. Today the sun is shining. Today I have had a great day at work. Today I have talked to loved ones
Today...I am happy.