I felt redeemed over the weekend. For the longest time I have looked like the controlling/bratty/crazy wife. I have set rules/ boundaries to keep my family safe from my husbands addiction. And when others who don't understand addiction hear that I don't allow my husband to drink around my boys or in our house they automatically think I am crazy and controlling. Can I tell you how done I am with being the crazy wife! I'm sick of doing things to protect my family and I am judged for that.
Well this weekend during the Seahawks game Cole decided it would be a good idea to have some drinks during the game. Well he had one to many drinks and shortly after some friends/family members realized how bad he gets while drunk. They learned that he doesn't know his limit and that he can switch emotions like a switch. One minute he is happy and making jokes with you the next he is a jerk saying hurtful things. He left the house and walked the streets drunk and I had to call him and convince him to get back home so he didn't get a ticket for public intoxication while my friends were driving around looking for him. He blacks out and doesn't remember his actions so he doesn't fully understand the extent of his hurt and betrayal he has caused.
After a few bad decisions I have texts and phone calls by these family/ friends and them asking how to deal with him. (I am 2 hours away staying at my sisters for the moment.) It was so nice to hear them say "Oh my gosh I didn't believe you when you said he was an Alcoholic." and"Wow I didn't realize how bad it was." I got a few apologies and words of encouragement and recognition for what a strong and loving (and very patient) wife I have been with my husband.
The thing that meant the most was I finally validated. I'M NOT CRAZY! My husband is an alcoholic even if he claims to others he isn't. And others are seeing that I am right! (Even though I do give him credit because the next day he admitted he was an alcoholic to me and got rid of all the alcohol.)
It's like I have been screaming at the top of my lungs on top of a mountain for help for the longest time and no one has heard me. But finally this weekend my voice was heard and my friends are offering to finally help. {And for once I was gone and I didn't have to clean up his mess! I told them sorry they had to deal with his drunk self. But I was so glad I had a break. I even told Cole this and he laughed and told me i'm dumb (in a loving way).}
So even though my husband gave me a good scare over the weekend and it was very frustrating. I was so glad it helped open up others eyes on how difficult and serious my situation is.
My advice for those who know someone who is struggling with a loved ones addiction is don't be to quick to judge. You never know the full story. And sometimes it's worse than you think. What they need most is love, support and trying your best to understand. Because sometimes that is all they need.
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